PROHIBITION OF
CUTTING TIES AND BEING DISOBEDIENT TO PARENTS
Question: Who
are the ties kept with?
1-Hanafis say Dhawee Rahim; all relatives from
mum and dads side
2-Malik said Asabah (male paternal relatives)
3-Ahmad and Shafi said all that's connected
to lineage from both sides and the view supported by the Permanent Committee
of Senior Scholars.
فَهَلْ
عَسَيْتُمْ إِن (1)تَوَلَّيْتُمْ
أَن (2)تُفْسِدُوا فِي الأَرْضِ
وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ
أُوْلَئِكَ
الَّذِينَ(3)
لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ (4)فَأَصَمَّهُمْ
(5)وَأَعْمَى
أَبْصَارَهُمْ
47:22-23
Five things happen when you cut ties and be
disobedient to parents.
وَالَّذِينَ يَنقُضُونَ عَهْدَ اللَّهِ مِن بَعْدِ مِيثَاقِهِ
وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِي الأَرْضِ
أُوْلَئِكَ لَهُمُ اللَّعْنَةُ وَلَهُمْ سُوءُ الدَّارِ
13:25
6 – A
terrible end
وَقَضَى
رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا
يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَا
أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا
وَاخْفِضْ
لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا
رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
17:23-24
-Islam
always gives an opposite of bad; this is the very nature of guidance.
To
the extent we can even lie or use Tawriyyah in order to make them happy,
al-Bukhari based it on the event with Umm Sulaym and the passed away child.
336-"Shall I not inform you
of the biggest of the major sins?" Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked this question thrice. We said, "Yes, O Messenger of
Allah. (Please inform us.)". He said, "Ascribing partners to Allah,
and to be undutiful to your parents". Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) sat up from his reclining position and said, "And I warn
you against giving forged statement and a false testimony; I warn you against
giving forged statement and a false testimony". Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) kept on repeating that warning till we wished he would stop.
“Stop” – because of the fear he
instilled in them if they were going to be negligent.
337-"(Of the) major sins
are: to ascribe partners to Allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take
a false oath (intentionally)".
Some of the narrations call this
“Kufr”.
This is also proof that Kufr and
sins are of levels: major and minor
338-"It is one of the
gravest sins to abuse one's parents." It was asked (by the people):
"O Messenger of Allah, can a man abuse his own parents?" Messenger of
Allah (ﷺ) said,
"He abuses the father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former's
father; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his
mother".
Islam is pragmatic – it looks at
cause and effect and places a ruling on both.
339-"The person who severs
the bond of kinship will not enter Jannah".
And this Hadith has preceded,
meaning the ties are bound by Allah and whoever cuts them then they will be cut
off by Allah, the Most High.
340-"Allah has forbidden
you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or
demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allah
dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no
benefit to one), and to waste your wealth".
Being
obedient in:
-Mubah
-Wajib
-Haram;
one needs to look for a solution rather than disobey them
QUESTION:
Is it obligatory for a person to spend on his parents?
Yes,
with two conditions
1-They
have a need
2-The
money is surplus
Ibn
Umar described spending on them as being the easiest way to enter Jannah.
TO HONOUR THE
FRIENDS OF YOUR PARENTS, RELATIVES AND ANYONE ELSE WHO ISLAM RECOMMENDS TO BE
GOOD
WITH
How
can a person obey his parent:
-Kindness
-Support;
physical and financial
-Dua
-Making
them happy
-Giving
respect and concern to those things that they give respect and concern to
-Honouring
their contracts
All
of these are during their life but this chapter looks at after one’s parents
pass away…
341- "The finest act of goodness is
that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father".
But before friends, those family
members who were on the same level as the relative must be upheld:
e.g. Maternal aunt – same as
mother
Paternal uncle – same as father
342- 'Abdullah bin 'Umar (May
Allah be pleased with them) met a bedouin on his way to Makkah, he greeted him,
offered him to mount the donkey he was riding and gave him the turban he was
wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said to him: "May Allah make you pious!
Bedouins can be satisfied with anything you give them (i.e., what you have
given the bedouin is too much). Upon this, 'Abdullah bin 'Umar said, the father
of this man was one of 'Umar's friends whom he loved best, and I heard
Messenger of Allah saying, "The finest act of goodness is the good
treatment of someone whom one's father loves".
343- Abu Usaid Malik bin Rabi'ah As-Sa'idi
(May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
We were sitting with Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) when a man of Banu Salamah came to him and asked, "O
Messenger of Allah! Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to
them after their death?" He (ﷺ)
replied, "Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to
fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which
cannot be maintained except through them, and honour their friends."
344- 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with
her) reported:
I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) as much as I did of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her),
although I have never seen her, but the Prophet (ﷺ) used to mention her very often. Whenever he slaughtered a
sheep, he would cut it into pieces and send them to the women friends of
Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her). When I sometimes said to him:
"You treat Khadijah in such a way as if there is no woman on earth except
her". He (ﷺ) would say, "Khadijah
was such and such (commending her and speaking well of her), and I had children
from her".
What we learn from these two:
-The best way to show respect
after they have died is to renew respect for the deceased
-Also; it is a condition that
there is no sin involved:
A person is obliged to obey his parents with regard to that which
is not sinful, even if they are immoral evildoers… This has to do with that
which is beneficial for them and not harmful to him.
-Ibn Taymiyyah
345- Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased
with him) reported:
I set out along with Jarir bin 'Abdullah Al-Bajali (May Allah be pleased
with him) on a journey and he served me. I said to him: "Don't do
that." Thereupon, he said, "I have seen the Ansar doing this with
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), and I swore by Allah,
whenever I accompany anyone of the Ansar, I would serve him".
HONOURING THE
RELATIVES OF THE PROPHET AND AN EXPLANATION TO THEIR VIRTUES
How can you purify your homes and
preserve unity in them?
إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ لِيُذْهِبَ عَنكُمُ الرِّجْسَ أَهْلَ
الْبَيْتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمْ تَطْهِيرًا
33:33
ذَلِكَ وَمَن يُعَظِّمْ شَعَائِرَ اللَّهِ فَإِنَّهَا مِن
تَقْوَى الْقُلُوبِ
22:32
346- Yazid bin Haiyan reported:
I went along with Husain bin Sabrah and 'Amr bin Muslim to Zaid bin
Arqam (May Allah be pleased with them) and, as we sat by his side, Husain said
to him, "Zaid, you acquired great merits, you saw Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), listened to him talking, fought by his side in (different)
battles, and offered Salat (prayer) behind him. Zaid, you have indeed earned
great merits. Could you narrate to us what you heard from Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)?" Zaid said, "By Allah! I have grown old and have
almost spent up my age and I have forgotten some of the things which I
remembered in connection with Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), so accept what I narrate to you, do not compel me to narrate
what I fail to narrate". He then said, "One day Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) stood up to deliver a Khutbah at a watering place known as
Khumm between Makkah and Al-Madinah. He praised Allah, extolled Him, and
exhorted (us) and said, 'Amma Ba'du. O people, I am a human being. I am about
to receive a messenger (the angel of death) from my Rubb and I will respond to
Allah's Call, but I am leaving with you two weighty things: the first is the
Book of Allah, in which there is right guidance and light, so hold fast to the
Book of Allah and adhere to it.' He exhorted (us to hold fast) to the Book of
Allah and then said, 'The second is the members of my household, I remind you
(to be kind) to the members of my family. I remind you (to be kind) to the
members of my family. Husain said to Zaid, "Who are the members of his
household, O Zaid? Aren't his wives the members of his family?" Thereupon
Zaid said, "His wives are the members of his family. (But here) the
members of his family are those for whom Zakat is forbidden". He asked,
"Who are they?" Zaid said, "Ali and the offspring of 'Ali, 'Aqil
and the offspring of 'Aqil and the offspring of Ja'far and the offspring of
'Abbas." Husain asked, "For all of them the acceptance of Zakat is
forbidden?" Zaid (May Allah be pleased with him) said, "Yes".
347- Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with
them) reported:
Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) said: "Show reverence to
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) by honouring the members of
his family."
What
are the rights of the Prophet?
1-Eman
in him
2-Follow
his Sunnah
3-Obey
his commands
4-Stay
away from what he forbade
فَآمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَالنُّورِ الَّذِي
أَنزَلْنَا وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ
64:8
5-Give precedence to his views
فَلاَ
وَرَبِّكَ لاَ يُؤْمِنُونَ حَتَّىَ يُحَكِّمُوكَ فِيمَا شَجَرَ بَيْنَهُمْ ثُمَّ
لاَ يَجِدُواْ فِي أَنفُسِهِمْ حَرَجًا مِّمَّا قَضَيْتَ وَيُسَلِّمُواْ
تَسْلِيمًا
4:65
6-To love him more than anything from the
creation
And Allah
knows best
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